ADHD wins {again}

adhd wins cover

Boy, I’m really pushing it for getting the next installment of the Walk Beside Me LDS Preschool Curriculum up! Seriously, if it wasn’t mostly ready to go… let’s just say I would save it for “another day.”
And we all know what happens on another day.
Pretty much everything I didn’t want to do on any other day.

Where was I?

Oh yes. H is for Helaman’s Army!

I’m not joking. My mind is all over the place tonight! This might be a post that actually needs to wait another day.

I don’t know if I’m having a meds issue; or if my hormones are about to go haywire but I swear, I can’t keep a thought in my head for longer than a minute. I feel so guilty because I didn’t do preschool with Nicole today.
Or yesterday.
Not because it’s not all set up, ready to go. It’s just too hard to tear myself away from things that are more interesting to me than helping a three and a half year old do puzzles and trace letters.

And the guilt? Oh the guilt.
I’m a professional guilter by nature, and no one gets it worse than myself. Then I feel so guilty about all that I haven’t done (laundry, any housecleaning whatsoever, preschool, helping kids with homework), that I try really hard not to think about it. I try so hard, in fact, to not think about it, that I end up blocking things out of my mind. For weeks at a time.
{Which is probably why my laundry piles are as frightening as they are; despite recent attempts to get “caught up.”} 

I know my ADHD symptoms are worse when I’ve had a lack of sleep.
They are worse when I’ve been stressed.
They are worse when my hormones are fluctuating.
yes I’m an adult, I can say grown-up lady words, but come on, my brothers read this!

So despite the fact that I haven’t had enough sleep lately (or ever), I’ve been mildly stressed (um, I have four kids), and my hormones are, you know, it doesn’t make me feel any better.

In fact, I feel pretty much like crap right now.
My big accomplishment of the day?
I made dinner.

I started a family pod on Beluga to encourage my family members (and myself) to get housework done, then I stopped posting because it was so depressing to repeat my daily failures to others.

It’s one of those days weeks where you want not be the mom. You don’t want the responsibilities, you don’t want to be the only one who is in charge of virtually everything. You don’t want your husband to be in bed all day long with a migraine knowing that you’re on your own for who-knows-how-long.
I want chocolate and my quilt and a Netflix marathon of Ugly Betty.
I want a kid free vacation.
And while I’m dreaming of unrealistic things, I want to be out of debt.

Oh shoot. That reminds me; Gary’s birthday is Tuesday.
I need something practical, exciting, and free.
Any ideas?
Yeah, me either. 

 P.S. I’m in a bit of a funk tonight.
P.P.S. H is for Helaman should be published tomorrow.
P.P.P.S. But I really can’t promise anything. 

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4 Responses to ADHD wins {again}

  1. Amy says:

    I’ve so been in a funk lately. I hate it! Nothing gets done and I just feel guiltier and guiltier. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, but I’m also glad to know I’m not the only one!

    • One of my BIGGEST reasons I started this blog was because I love blog hopping–but it seemed like it was one perfect soccer mom blog after another! I hated feeling so alone. I wanted this to be the antidote to perfection: a little reality on the web. Thank you for letting me know I’m not the only one!!

  2. Lyndi says:

    I really like your blog! I can totally relate to you! As an ADDer, I feel like such a failure all the time and people just don’t understand my thought process (I am all over the place all the time and forget things about 1 second after thinking of it)I really enjoy the creativity and I am never bored! I have only read a few of your posts so far but I wondered if are able to stick to any kind of routine? My routine is whatever I think of at the moment LOL.

    • Thank you, and welcome! My routine is… um… sporadic. And not very routine-y at all. I’m still working on that. Definitely a work in progress, WHEN I remember to think about it! Lol.

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