Category Archives: ADHD in Women

Effortless Journaling: OhLife!

OhLife

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I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it on this blog, {heh heh} but I have real-true-diagnosed AD/HD. 
{Versus the kind everyone thinks they have when they’ve lost their keys again.}

One of the manymanymany things I hate about being AD/HD is seeing the areas I ‘lack.’ One of them being the topic of journaling. My mother has literally dozens of journals, spanning from the time she could write up until… yesterday, probably. Growing up I saw her journal, and always assumed I would journal, too. You know. When I was older.
I love to buy journals.

I do not love to write in journals.

Of course this is a whole other avenue of Mom Guilt for me: not recording all the precious moments (snort) of my darling (snort) children’s lives. {Okay, they are pretty cute… most of the time.} My mom is even working on typing all her journals, and is slowly searching out our names so we can see the things she wrote about us in her journal, compiled nicely to read at our pleasure. {Pretty sure I don’t want to read all she had to say about me growing up!}

Anyway, I’ve never had a successful track record of journaling. It’s just too hard to remember to pick it up at the end of the day. Now I will tell you a story:

Once upon a time, I found a website called OhLife. It was free. I signed up. And everyday they would email me a question: How did my day go? Using my sort-of-smartphone, I replied. And the next day they emailed me again. I replied again. And we lived happily ever after…

:)
That really is “it” in a nutshell. You sign up for OhLife. You set how often you would like to be reminded: daily or weekly? Then they email you: How did your day go?

You write a reply. You can even send an image, if you’d like. You can write a lot. I do this often, because once I’m thinking about my day, it’s hard to stop. But you can also write a little. Sometimes, it’s a veryverybad day. I don’t want to think about it. Sometimes, I’m just too tired to write much. It looks like this:


If I complain too much, I always feel the need to stick something in super sweet, so that they know I still love them. You know, in case they ever actually do read this.

But generally, my posts are a little more average in length, and might tell a rundown of my day to a cute story one of the kiddos did. Like this:

AD/HD or not, I’m journaling consistently, with little effort on my part, since November.  {Now I just need to find a way to do effortless laundry…}

PS – Dear OhLife, I provided this post for you, free of charge! You didn’t even ask me. I’m pretty cool like that.

Christmas Break {Survival}

I was really worried about the summer break this year. It was the first summer we’ve had full custody of my stepchildren, and three months of family togetherness seemed really
really
long.

But you know what? It went great. In fact, it was pretty awesome. I planned fun activities, I did “summer school,” and we bonded. Tons. It was the best thing that could have happened to our family. In fact, I was begging my husband at the end of the summer to do homeschool. Fortunately, I married I guy who truly gets me.
He said no.

 This Christmas break? I didn’t think much about. Technically we only “have” the first half of the break. The second half belongs to the ex. The first half of Christmas break is filled with Christmas parties and husbands home from work and all that goodness. The second half is the part that drags on. What’s there to worry about?

Well.
The ex works full time, and has lost driving privileges. So I need to get them to public transporation to meet her at 5:45 p.m. Then we pick them up at 8:30 (she is “earning back” unsupervised overnight visitation). And that’s if she picks them up. Tuesday we were in the car, on the way to the train, when she texted to say she was “unable” tohave them that evening. Which would have been helpful information before 5:30 p.m., but whatever.This also meant that surprise! I was now responsible for two hungry mouths that expect a little more than cereal for dinner.

Let’s just say I have the kids a lot more than I thought. ;) I really should have expected this.

Now I’m tired and overwhelmed and counting the days till school begins. I hate being the grumpy mom. I want to be doing fun activities with the kids but by the time we are able to get going, it’s time to wonder whether or not they will be needing to meet their mom anytime soon. It’s hard to plan much of anything when you honestly don’t know what the plans are. So I let them get away with hours of watching America’s Funniest Videos. After they do chores of course.
{Seriously, somebody has to!} 

Maybe I’m using the ex as an excuse to be lazy. I can accept that. I definitely have a lazy bone or two. :) I just want to have fun and I want to get out of my house.

And if that doesn’t work, than I really want the kids to go back to school.
Till then… the America’s Funniest Videos marathon continues.

Slacking + Dress Shopping = Fail

You know the little naughty child who grabs his mommy’s scissors and chops all his sister’s hair off?
That was totally me yesterday.
Yeah, I pretty much cut Rebecca’s hair yesterday.
Two youtube videos and away we went.

That’s what I was going to post about.

Or, I was going to post about my insane(ly manic) burst of energy where I totally cleaned out my entire pantry.
The pantry where you had to shield your head when you opened the door.
Then shove it all back in as you close the door.

Random fact: my son is talking in his sleep in the next room. I kinda want to listen in…
Sounds like a fairly serious conversation though.
It wouldn’t be polite.

Anyway. Instead, I’m totally disappointed. I drove all over the valley
{Salt Lake is pretty big, if you need a frame of reference}
trying to find the perfect dresses for our upcoming temple sealing. If I got white for the girls, do I get white for my step daughter, who is not being sealed to us? Do I get another color? Do I sew all the dresses and keep it simple? Do I blow the budget or buy used?

Oh, and family pictures are Monday. So online ordering is pretty much out.

I finally found a gorgeous dress for Rebecca, my stepdaughter. I ended up picking a beautiful ivory bubble dress. The store only special ordered in the sizes I need for Nicole and Abigail. The dresses wouldn’t be in by Monday, so on I went.

I ended up at a fantastic store with everything I needed. Off the rack, sizes 24 months, 4T, and 10. Matching white dresses. Ooh, matching dresses! I have a thing for matching dresses. Is that just a mom thing, or a me thing? I never know, because Gary thinks I’m slightly crazy. But he’s not a mom.

Of course, the price tag for 3 white dresses… is crazy. $60 for a white dress for some of the messiest people I know? This sounds like poor planning.
But… but… they match.

And on my mental anguish went.
Naturally, I ended up at Target.
Which doesn’t carry pretty white dresses for temple sealings.


I wandered.
It was late.
I was pooped.
I have no clue what to do tomorrow.
Family pictures – three shopping days away.
I lose. :(

Perfectly Imperfect

Perfectly Imperfect

One thing I always struggled with accepting in FlyLady’s program was that she preached and preached how we are all perfectionists. Please. Anyone who has been inside my house (without an hour’s prior notice) can tell I’m no perfectionist. My house is currently a disaster and even when it’s picked up I don’t bother to remove the tiny hand prints from the walls, or scrub the carpets, or dust anything. I’m not a perfectionist, and my husband would agree.

This morning, as I was lying in bed after my husband left (at 4:30 a.m., I typically roll over without a second thought), I felt overwhelmed by the condition of my house. I was complaining to my mother yesterday that I wasn’t going to get to heaven because my house is far from being “in order.” She tried to persuade me to believe that the scripture was indeed talking about spiritual houses, not our actual homes, but it did little to soothe the guilt. When I found myself unable to sleep today, I started attempting to talk myself into cleaning.
{Note: talking myself into doing anything before 8:00 a.m. is a pretty big accomplishment.}

I was thinking about how hard it is to get it all done. I have a tendency to not start what I can’t finish, or what I’m overwhelmed by. This in turn exacerbates the problem and days later, what I was originally overwhelmed by, I am now paralyzed with the thought of attempting the task.

The truth is: mothers–women–are ingrained with a certain level of perfection. It appears easy for others to care for their homes and their children and put dinner on the table. For me, it’s one mental fight after the next. Rather than shrugging my shoulders and saying, “Yeah, I’m just not a homemaker,” my spirit desperately wants to achieve perfection in this area. Because I know the laundry I just washed will ultimately end on the floor to be trampled because I was too lazy to fold it, I don’t do it. Because I don’t even know where to start in the disaster of a kitchen, I don’t start. Because every room in the house is a mess and by the time I clean one and move onto the next, the first is messy again, I continue to neglect them all.

I don’t do it because I can’t do it like “they” do it.
{Whoever they are–a question frequently asked but rarely answered.} 

The answer, it seems to me, is just start.

Isn’t it better to have a small load of clean laundry done, even if it perhaps doesn’t get put away? Even if there is a mountain more to do? Isn’t it better to load just the “easy” dishes–not the grimy ones–so you have something to eat off of in the morning? Isn’t it better to pick up just one room, even if the rest you can barely move through, so you have a place to relax and feed your spirit? {And perhaps your family?}

Why does it seems so hard just to do a little? I can’t do it all, so rather than doing nothing, what if I just tried to do what *very little* I am capable of doing? My husband says I sell myself short. Maybe when it feels like I’m barely capable of cleaning anything, if I just do what I can, I’ll find that it’s more than I realized all along?

I wish I could tell you that I tried this and two weeks later, my house is totally clean and I’m now up to perfect standards.
{Nope.}
These are just the musings of a slightly sleep-deprived mom, knee deep in laundry and too scared to start.
Let me know if this helps you.
I’ll let you know if it helps me.

P.S. – I’d be remiss in posting this if I didn’t say Happy Birthday to my own perfectly imperfect Mom! Give her a shout out in the comments, will ya, for raising such an awesome kid?! Happy Birthday Mom, and thanks for everything. I love you!

{extra} Tired.

I’m so tired lately.

I’m so tired that I want to take a nap instead of blog.
I’m so tired I want to close my eyes instead of clean my kitchen.
I’m so tired that even Pinterest is having a hard time keeping my attention.
I’m so tired that even the crafty fun things I want to do…
seem like a lot of work.

Oh boy.

I am really tired.

{This is the point where I’ve officially convinced my mom I’m totally depressed.}

I don’t think I am depressed.
I mean, a double dose of  anxiety medicine (also known as “anti-depressant”) really ought to keep that off the table, don’t you think?

The last few days though, there isn’t enough Diet Coke in the world to keep me awake.

Confession: I believe I took 3 (short) naps yesterday.
After I slept in.

 Is anybody else this tired?
{Or are you too busy sleeping to respond?}
Any suggestions when you are feeling absolutely drained… and your kids still demand your attention?

The selfish little…
{kidding.}

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